Dealing With Difficult People
Have you ever experienced a person that you just didn’t get along with? Perhaps you deal with a single person or a couple people most days who exhibits the same aggravating behavior over and over again? How does it make you feel? Do you become stressed-out, annoyed or angry by it?
As I have written before, things like “big, small, difficult and easy” actually don’t exist in the Universe. All of these words are mere judgments of our life experience. We may observe a caterpillar becoming a butterfly and think to ourselves, “What a struggle that poor caterpillar has to go through,” but is this how the caterpillar really feels? Is it really a struggle for the caterpillar or is ‘struggle’ merely our interpretation?
Labeling life, life situations or people as hard, difficult, a struggle, aggravating or work (to name a few) are all just our judgments about a particular experience. I have met women who have experienced giving birth as “the most painful thing ever,” and also women who have experienced it “as a breeze. It happened quickly and painlessly.”
Everything in this world is a perception. Everything, including people. The whole Universe is nothing but energy~ everything! The table, the chair, thoughts, emotions, people, buildings and everything else we observe is made of energy. Even the most subtle thought and intention has been known to change the very crystalline structure of water molecules. And it is my experience that people are no exception.
Imagine meeting someone who, day-in and day-out despises everything about you. How you work, what you eat, how you communicate, everything. Imagine them judging you and calling you names or talking about you behind your back. How does this make you feel? Do you want to work with or against this person? Now imagine doing this to someone else ALL the time.
Most people on Earth just want to be loved and accepted by others. They want the freedom to be them selves without someone breathing down their neck to BE someone else or to do things differently. This is the whole “live and let live” philosophy. When we learn to love and accept another person, even when they do things differently, communicate differently and act differently, we open ourselves up to receive so much more from them.
Imagine that every single thought and belief you have about another person, they notice and feel on another level. They may not be conscious of it, but on some level they “get” it. Without meaning to, they will constantly mirror your thoughts, beliefs and feelings of them. Let’s say you keep thinking to yourself, “I wish my spouse would help me clean around the house. They are so lazy!” Without meaning to, they will mirror these thoughts and feelings until something shifts. So how do we shift then? How can we experience loving, supportive and compassionate people around us at all times, every time? One trick would be to remember that we are all human.
Each and every one of us is perfect in our own way, as we are. We are all an expression of divinity, and how boring would it be to live in a place where everyone is the same?! Life is meant to have colorful contrast and so are people. How would we know that we wanted a loving, supportive and proactive house-cleaning spouse if we didn’t first experience the opposite? All contrast is there to give us feedback on what it is we do and do not want to experience~ our job then, is to focus on what we DO want to experience.
Another way to shift and begin experiencing people as loving, supportive and compassionate humans is to praise all the good things about them. Maybe your spouse doesn’t help you clean up the house, but maybe they are really great at bringing out the trash before you have to ask. Maybe they are really great at taking the kids out to burn some of their seemingly endless energy? Perhaps they always remember to bring home groceries from work, or are always there to listen to you when you need to talk.
When we start acknowledging them both internally (with our feelings and emotions) AND verbally, a channel is then opened to allow a shift to happen. I find that in my experience, both tricks work. Whether it is a colleague at work, your boss, your kids, your spouse, loved one or that one family member that always seems to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, change is out there. Your ideal life and relationships are waiting just around the bend for you to find it~ and all it takes is a simple shift in perception, thoughts and feelings.
Because Life is Effortless,
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